Salmonella Soup

It's not that I haven't cooked since February. Just not much that has been Haphazard worthy. Oh wait, those teething bars that were nasty was worthy so I was too lazy to write about the cooking experience.

Long story short, I had to roll out this dough that had molasses in it so it was a lovely shade of poop brown.  Only thing is I don't have a board, I do have an ancient rolling pin believe it or not.  I had to knead it and roll it out on my tile counter top. I found out quick that cold tile makes the dough stick like double sided tape to everything so I really didn't make bars...again, I made blobs.  Never mind that it looked like I needed toilet paper to clean up what was left on the counter.

That was a little while ago and Hank is eating a very good variety of foods.  So much now that I'm having to use my imagination to not give him the  things over and over.  I've got a pretty good hippie dippie cookbook with some recipes that I have had success with but, in the spirit of branching out, I made a fatal error in judgement.  I went out on my own this time.

Usually soups are not that hard.  Put it in the water and boil it. Done.
I thought that since Hank liked the veggie soup at Panera I maybe could mimic it and get him to eat veggies.  While he likes many foods, veggies are elusive unless they are pureed and stirred in yogurt. So there is the inspiration.

I start some store bought veggie broth boiling and add chopped carrots since they would take longest to cook. I cut zucchini and yellow squash then a light bulb blows out in my head and I remember that I have fresh chicken breast in the fridge. YES, I Touch CHICKEN.  It's for Hank because I don't have the mental energy to feed a vegatartian ( I like this typo - it implies that vegetarians are martians) baby and make sure he gets the nutrition he needs. Another sacrifice.  This ranks up there with losing teeth and how grossed out I'm going to be when a tooth is hanging out of his mouth....urp. retch.

Back to the serious business of cooking. I think of the chicken. I don shoulder length plastic gloves and remove the package from the fridge.  No, I'm kidding but I do hold it out in front of me and cut it making sure not to splash chicken juice on anything.  I add these chicken cubes to the pot of boiling broth.

While I was sterilizing the kitchen of even the idea of chicken funk ( throwing boiling water in the counters is a little mess-ay)  I'm thinking that I was maybe supposed to cook the chicken BEFORE adding it to the carrots.  I don't know...was I?  Something just seemed out of order. Seeing carrots and raw, salmonella laden chicken bouncing around in the pot was wrong.  Like a witch's cauldron is wrong. That's what this pot is now. Crap. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

Just like any other time I cook and screw up, just keep going and see what happens. This time I just hope all the gooey bacteria get boiled to obvilion.

I watch it boil for a while, the flesh turns white, things are going ok. But what's that brown stuff floating on top?  Is it all the dead salmonellas?!?  Do I skim it off? The answer is yes and I don't care what it is.

In go the squash and zucchini. Good.  Time to add the frozen green beans. I didn't really think of this but green beans are long, right? These are anyway so how do you cut frozen green beans? Fortunately, they cut easily.  I just didn't want the flying all over the kitchen - beeeoww! I've made a big enough mess and I don't want to smell decaying green bean from behind the stove in a few days.

Almost done.  Add some pinto beans.  I cooked these earlier so it's just to warm them up.
Seasoning consists of turmeric, garlic, ginger.  Whatever sounds good together.  I love turmeric and is good if you have inflammation.

I was so proud of myself - it actually tasted good! OMG, I rock!!  I get a small bowl to cool for Hank.  I present it to him smiling .... he touches it and makes a face that you would have thought I burned him with a hot poker. He drops it piece by piece on the floor. I growl inside and eat the whole pot myself. Awesome.

Are you SURe you don't wanna EAT IT?!? Just EAT it for God's Sake!